Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Thank you


Dear Future Mr. Raden Yusnaidi Adiputra,

I’m writing to you today about something that is very important and emotional for me. It’s very difficult, and you know what I’m like when it comes to talking about important things. I’m trying to get better at it. It’s a long process. I hope you’ll really think about it and won’t say no outright. I hope you don’t say no at all, but I know it’s a possibility.

Anyway.

There’s two reasons behind my request. Firstly, I don’t know how much of my current postings you’ve seen, but you might have seen various postings about my current life here at January 2016 and how much I don’t like that mine’s been changed throughout the month of my full despair. This is a letter to you in future if you might read it so that it will be a reminder on who you are when you are done with your life as it is.

It makes me feel really sad to think that I could die without having the one that i want the most which is family. I want my descendants, to continue the family tree. You ought to remember that you almost made it to the finish line but now you are unable to do so because of Family, Perception and Depiction. You cannot throw away what you have been holding on for the last half decade to to let your heart win.

I love the Family and i wish we could be one big family despite what dark moment that hit my family. I think you certainly know that. And this has nothing to do with them because i would definitely do anything to be one of them since i only care for that family but also love them as my family. Throughout my hardship they have been my surrogate family. No matter what happened, they raised me here to work hard to win over the heart and mind, and that’s not insignificant. But, no matter what, they aren’t my actual mother and father. I’ve actually never thought of them as that. Respected Future In-law , yes; mother and father, no. Those roles have always belonged to My Abah and Mama.

Secondly, but definitely not less important, being you was the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for everything you did for me. Not just the things you know you did, like getting a good job to resurrect your job, but for the other things as well. I still remember you out by the lake at Putrajaya exactly on 31st December 2013, the day you lost your job. Being you and knowing you did more to heal some of my anxieties than anything else. I see myself in you, and it’s truly powerful. And very hard to explain everything it means.

I can’t even imagine going on as I was at 23 for years and years. I credit you for the vast increases in my self-confidence and decreases in my anxiety. Thank you very much. For everything.

Please think about it.Life can be hard but it is harder to walk alone. Always remember that family is the most important streetlight in your life. Yes, you almost made it to finish line but there is always silver lining on the cloudy day.


Thank you so much Pakcik Shahri and Makcik Rubaini. My world is brighter and more beautiful because of both of you. The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. If I got you a thank you card to match the size of your generosity, it wouldn’t fit in your mailbox. Thank you for the good times, the days you filled with pleasure. Thank you for fond memories, and for feelings I’ll always treasure. The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. My sincere apologies for what happen.

Please remember Raden that good people do exist. People always talk about how hard it can be to remember things, but no one ever talks about how much effort we put into forgetting. I am exhausted from the effort to forget. There are things that have to be forgotten if you want to go on living. But please remember as much as you can. As deeply and widely and nourishingly and ­irritatingly as you can. And the good things will make you remember them, so you won't need to take notes.




Thank you.

Regards,

Raden Yusnaidi Adiputra, Alias
January 5th, 2016.




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