Thursday, March 28, 2013

Letter to future me..

When the days are hard, it gets sad
The pain that causes the tears to come
it will end someday
the only thing that is endless is our love
I love you more than I did yesterday
I have never met someone so important and precious to me
that it hurts, to meet you
to feel this happiness
I must have dealt with a lot of pain
I don't want to do this ever again
breaking-up unless it's a break-up to meet you once more
whenever and forever
Because it feels like my overwhelming heart will explode
because I think the person before my eyes isn't really you
I run, and embrace the breathing you
I am the idiot, who let go of his worries
I love you more than I did yesterday
I have never met someone so important and precious to me
that it hurts, to meet you
to feel this happiness
I must have dealt with a lot of pain

p/s : as a reminder

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

if only...

I will not forget, I will not change if living takes all the strength I have..
For you, you will wipe my tears but shed more tears In repay.I will keep this heart, forever.As time passes by, in the future far far ahead..I will probably be thankful once again, having the memories to look back upon.This thankful heart, stay here so I can repay you for as long as I live..Let me live as your man.If I didn't meet you, if I didn't know this happiness,If I couldn't experience this amazing love..I wouldn't have known how beautiful this world is, and just live passed all that

From now, what I am saying the thing that I never said.Although its embarrassing and awkward from the day I first met you .The thing I said through my smiles,the thing I always said through my eyes
While "holding" your hand, while "greeting" each other's lips.While "holding" you close, while "hugging" you tight..The thing my heart said..

Thanks, for coming to me. Thanks for waiting so I wont be lonely, because you're right here with me.For giving me someone that can tell me they love me..I thank you that you're my woman, that you're the one

p/s : if only inverted was true enough...

Sunday, March 24, 2013


I think someone could not just said forget it then we can just forget.
I have experience too about pain or regret, it's really hurt..
if we try hard to forget it, it's like we lie to ourself because the pain would never that easy to disappear.
Of course we even can't turn back time or past,
it's useless just always remember that past,
it makes us stop in one place, never move forward,
but the pain will slowly reduce by the time
the pain could slowly disappear but the event could not be forgot.
All we can do is take the experience we got to make better move forward..

There are a lot pains that i'm dealing with but i never said it out loud or blame anyone.

do i really deserve all these don't think so..
but that is the real world application now and i'm just a part of binary code inside a program...
I always get annoyed if some people just blame someone before they know exactly what going on. the fact that i said i don't really take that behavior as something really negative because that not entirely true sometime hurt me too..because for me giving too much attention to people who doesn't appreciate the way you are and asking for more doesn't work for me at all..
i don't say much..and i don't do much...
i just smile and wait what might come ahead in future...bring it on by the way..
and i don't put any hope anymore...

p/s : i had enough with disrespect

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Bureau of Elevation

when I look into your eyes...
and you're looKing back in mine...
everything feels not quite normal...
because i feel stronger..........................
and weaker at the sAme time...
i feel exited and at the same time...
the truth is..
i dont know what i feel..
i know what kind of man i want to be..

p/s : missing an unexpected one...

Monday, March 11, 2013

Start Stop

hey...i guest nothing here to be talk about though...
hmm..well..i don't know what to mumble here...
except that i just so happen to know that..
i don't talk much...
yeah..i don't talk much..and communication with people outside..
kinda lost...i barely text people..
what seem to be happening around here..
opinion...?? some idea....
well the fact that everything is shut down..
and i was doing everything i can to pleased people around me...
and what did i get..NOTHING..!!
everyone make mistake..learn to live with it...
i am not a crappy dude who doesn't know what to do...
where i've been for the past week...
no one even give a shit about it....
no one even ask about how was my day....
talking about sucking a lemon...
i do aware that i have nothing to offer to others..and if i did...
i might not even offer it to others...

there is a thought..i would suggest while driver after went for a fishing trip...last weekend..
if i have what i need to live by myself...i would never return to my current life...
and i mean it...yeas..i am so heartbroken...
with almost everything....i have no one to share my problem with...
yeah..its like that..right now..i just need a jump start..and i will never ever..return...

p/s ; i hate it..when this feeling come to me... 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Don't Be Good To BBM status...

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore

It might be better to be cold to me
Or ignoring me might be better for me
Brushing off the dust on my collar
Carelessly laughing and leaning on my shoulder

I let it go, telling myself that its just a habit and busy my day
But I think about ti again and again as if I took a picture

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore
I don't have the confidence to kneel my knees and be hurt by love
If you have other thoughts than me, if you have different thoughts than me.
If somebody asks you who I am, nonchalantly introduce me as just someone you know

The phone call a couple of days ago at night, that call...
it's not that I didn't want to answer, but I couldn't
Just in case I tell you I miss you when I'm drunk
because in the morning, I'll regret it

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore
I don't have the confidence to kneel my knees and be hurt by love
Although I had the whole world because of love
Although i miss it, I'm unable to find the way

Just in case you have the same thoughts as me,
if you happen to have the same thoughts of me
I wait again and again.
I am a fool in front of love again.
I cling to you again, like a fool.

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore

p/s : have to...

Choice..choosing between path..

yeah...just like that..
life is about making some decision and learn to live with it..
some might be okey...and some might lead us to not being that okey..
i've recently make a decision that lead to my 3rd regret of my life...
and..i occasionally think what am i going to do with my life..
thing just not getting my way at all...
with regards or not..i should not make that choice..and now..everyday..
i am starting to lose grip...and i it make me know where is my stand for now on...
what should i do for the rest of my life....

1st regret..not even the first day of my 2nd year 2nd semester
2nd regret..before my graduation
3rd regret..27 to 41

p/s : hard way to be knock out...