Wednesday, October 3, 2012


so tell me what are you going to do
you think that i will just wait for you
dont you know this could be your last chance
just know tomorrow is not promised

Friday, September 28, 2012

Tik Tok..

nobody knows
just how much your heart beats for me
and when you breathe
your soul cries out for
its one true love
but you turn away
and just ignore
all the yearning and searching you'll never find what you're looking for
I have all of the answers of questions all that you need and more
you're wasting your time
let go of your pride
you're only hurting yourself
You can brush me aside
Go on with your life
and place me back on the shelf

so tell me what are you going to do
you think that i will just wait for you
dont you know this could be your last chance
just know tomorrow is not promised

Whatcha you waiting for
tik tok
will you open the door
tik tok
come in and be with me
tik tok
or will you leave me
tik tok

p/s: to be continue..

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Tired Of Waiting

Do you still remember me?
Going insane while waiting..
Why is it so hard
and everything's so complicated in my head.
I was waiting and waiting
and yet no answers from you
I didn't cry because of you
and you didn't leave because of me
So why is it so hard, why is it so hard?

p/s:  Every time I embrace something behind the stage..It's our secret, it's our secret, its our secret..

Friday, August 3, 2012

Stretch up

I avoid conflict at all cost . I choose to either ignore or just let it be and complain later .

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Again I Hate You Without you Tired of Waiting Only u Heartbeat

~ the structure of breaking up :

  1. Longing
  2. Sadness
  3. Anger
  4. Loneliness
  5. Memory
  6. Feeling Lost
p/s: an update for sake of update..I'll be back

Sunday, June 17, 2012


Bungking Numan, my uncle, passed away last Saturday (June 16, 2012), due to heart failure. And, to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it. When I had first heard about his death, I was sad and angry at the same time due to some was almost the same type of incident at the hospital that happened to my late grandfather.  I wanted to rush to back home from Times Square at that moment and straightly fly away to Sarawak. Instead, I took a step back, and thought about what I really wanted to do reasonably.  

I always believed that my uncle and I had a very close relationship. Disregard who were they actually as I am a Muslim and they were a Christian. Then again my late uncle had no encounter with us at all since he was the one that assimilated well with society back then. In addition his son also converted to Muslim just like my mum. As an extraneous member of the family, we were not put aside. That is the fun of it because in comparison within the Malay side of my family, it can be mention that the tile of relationship is totally different. 

This man was extremely independent, never complained about any problems he may have had, kept busy and up to date with current issue because he was former policeman during his young. The man worked until he was old at his own field after his retirement. With that being said, I have come to realize something over the year that everything changes. We were becoming closed up until the moment that I do welcome to stay at their home, though we just met just once every 6 month or so.

p/s: wordless..just a silent treatment for me..

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

i'm giving up...Linkin Park..??

A limit on what you will do, puts a limit on what you can do.

I actually think what's wrong with me is that I'm incredibly depressed and it's just blinding me to a lot of things.I am useless in the eyes of the world.Im so fed up, my life is so crap because of my disabilities.I dont enjoy my life. I wish i would live someone elses life because everyone around me is more succesful than me. I just feel like my life is punisment. is there any solution?? and please dont tell me i have to be confident because i just can't.. 

Life is God's gift, i don't think of it as a expendable commodity. Every creation has a purpose and direction and i do aware of it, the thing is that i still have to find is trust and character. That is what still missing....

p/s: frust

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Doing Shot..~~

Love is a feeling, which you have for someone who is close to your heart. It’s a word used to describe the way in which we think and care about certain people who are close to our heart.

Sacrifice is giving up of something, for some good reason. Like for the well being or someone or for the happiness of someone else we give up our own happiness and comforts. Sacrifice is in fact coming out of love. If we don’t love the person, for whom we are sacrificing, then it doesn’t term as sacrifice.

Chasing your dreams could and can never be a waste of time and those who says that it is a waste of time really don't have any dreams and are in fear of chasing their dreams and that could be because someone told them the same thing at a younger or just maybe the fact is that none of their dreams have never come through.

This Is a Aquared-from google image

Please don't let anyone tell you that chasing your dreams is a waste of time.

I don't believe that self-sacrifice has anything to do with humility. It’s innate in some, for example, one who sees a stranger drowning & has no hesitation in jumping in to save them, at their own risk. A man who burned to death because he enter his house and save his cat. That was love, not humility. There are many myths about self-sacrifice. Martyrdom, hero syndrome. This denigrates the humane, selfless act. Humility is a humble condition, or attitude of the mind. Self-sacrifice is not.

The answer is simple. It is easy to tell someone else to be humble in some way- it is only words on your part. Words can be powerful- words can also be cheap, not worth the paper they are printed on. To act on humility in and of your self is far greater than words alone. Your self is your life. Life is all you have. You cannot give anything higher than the sacrifice of self, in the name of love. Anything else is meaningless.

p/s: Aquared

Sunday, May 6, 2012


Why do you hate yourself? 
Do you lie and cheat? 
Are you a burglar?
A bully? 
Would other people agree with you because you treat others badly? 

Do you really have a verifiable reason for this self-loathing, or are you just not as perfect as you'd like to be? If it's the former, then you need to talk to someone you trust about it. Nobody ever achieves perfection, even with a lot of study and effort.if you are alone..find your friend..they will fill in the blank for you..a real friend apparently…

how to fill in your own blank..?? 
The first part is easy: Get into social network…!! Make friend..!! The second part takes a little work if you have trouble holding up your end of conversations with people you meet. If that's the case, then know that it's actually easy too, just start with three questions: 1. what’s on your mind? 2. What is your greatest challenge? And 3. If you could change something, what would it be? There are other questions you can ask, polite ones, but keep asking the people that you meet more about them, and they will think you're great, because everyone's favorite subject is themselves..
That is the basic two way to get yourself into the game of changing.

That's about all there is to it. Remember: if you PROJECT THE IMAGE that you've got it all together, other people will assume you do, and treat you accordingly. Now, get busy, and good luck..

p/s:my celcom is going to be dead soon..1 week or less.....

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Lone gent

It must've been a long time. Long enough for these words to become colorless. Even if i just see your eyes, i know everything,
like your friend, like your shadow.

We must've been together always. When you're having hard time and you are sad,

even when you're lonely. Holding onto separation a bit longer,
even when I'm hurting to wipe away your tears..

There's a man. Who loves you so much. There's a man. Who can't even say i love you. By your side i put my hand out and

at a path were you can always reach me
i, who cherishes you more than myself, am with you.

To make you laugh, i think of only that and

when and where ever you are I'm watching you and missing you. And who worries of only you,

There's a man. Who loves you so much. There's a man. Who can't even say i love you. By your side i put my hand out and

at a path were you can always reach me
i, who cherishes you more than myself, am with you.

For the thousandth time i swallow and again for ten thousandth time i try to set

Evert hing straight. I want to tell you. I think I'm going to go insane but. I want to embrace you all at one but...

There's a girl, who doesn't know i'm like this. Who receives love but doesn't even know that it is love. Leaving you, who is as foolish as i and sad,

at this moment tears come but i'm happy. It's because you're by my side.

p/s: One Man 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Done with Curtain Fall

Deleting entry?
Overrated Self Esteem?
Feeling Alpha because You were Wanted?

I know when is the time to be humble..
and i do know when is the time to be proud..
I don't need to beg, 
I earn everything and provide the essential stuff for myself..
Having too much pride prevents your capability to learn, 
Restricts your view towards natural life..
It harms the relationships with others hope..
Being too arrogant forms a false appearance of who we are..
The fake impression that we are infallible..

You know who you are...
the thing was the chances was given..and a lot...
i have joy..i have the item that fill my need physically..
it was just trust and character i need around me..
who you choose to be around you get to know who you are and it define who are exactly..
a bit of dirt or stain just to know what a person really made of..
that the the price that i have to live with...
can i live with it...??
only i know...
how can i be so sure...
i don't...but based on the convey a lot of variable that can induce to a lot of conclusion..
Now and have the know that a jet will fly by the tower once..
and when the pattern is full...
don't you ever regret because that was initially your choice....

p/s: metaphorical entry...